So you’re going through a period of change. You’re running hard, you’re not sleeping well and as you drink another coffee and munch another muffin, you tell yourself, “I just need to get through this stage and then things will be back to normal.” But what if this is normal? How can you live your life in a way that means that you thrive on change – that change is a good thing?
In my previous post, I talked about tools to manage continuous change in an organisation effectively. In this post, I’ll share some ideas that may help you to reframe how you see change personally and to see the opportunities that they offer.
So let me just give you a little background on me. I have had a very busy couple of years, I:
- Finished off the five-year restoration of a 500-year-old commercial building
- Launched and ran two new businesses (office rentals and Airbnbs: www.hummingbirddenbigh.co.uk)
- Separated from my long-term partner
- Moved house twice and furnished an empty home
- Got my son settled in a new school
- Did a lot of personal development
- Managed the change communications for a restructure at a UK supermarket and the introduction of a new IT system at a digital retailer
- Ran workshops on successful people change initiatives for a group of charities
I’m not going to lie. We don’t live in Disneyland and there were some very dark times, some hot towel over the head, “How the hell am I going to get through this?” moments. So we’re not pretending that this stuff doesn’t happen but it’s what you do with that experience that counts. Here’s some of the tools and techniques that I used:
1) Claim the gifts
There is a view that there are gifts in every situation, even the trickiest. Got a toxic boss? Working in the office/remotely and it doesn’t suit you? You’ve just learnt more about what good leadership looks like and how you want to work in your next role. Congratulations!
Some people find a journal is a good way to record all the stuff you’re grateful for so that you can remind yourself of these when things feel difficult.
2) Spend time on things that give you joy
You have natural skills which are things that you find easy and get energised by. Then there are learned skills which you can get good at, but you feel tired at the end of the day as they drain you, so how can you reconfigure your job or life so that you spend more time on things that give you joy and not drain you?
For example, I was doing one communications role that I was finding challenging and not very creative so used to go to singing lessons after work to nurture my light and creative side.
3) Not always on
To reduce the risk of burn out, what can you do to cut down on the background noise, the pings of your mobile phone so that you can be as well as do?
Over the last year, I have unfriended some people, unsubscribed from WhatsApp groups, deleted apps, muted alerts, decluttered my house and cancelled some subscriptions/direct debits. It’s been brilliant. My life is simpler, and I spend more time on things that make me happy.
Also, consider exploring the options for having a meditative practice that works for you. Here’s one that is done monthly online by my friend Pooja.
4) Move
For many years, I had an unhelpful internal dialogue that said I wasn’t allowed to exercise that day unless I had done all my work which of course I never finished. This is not sustainable.
Go for a walk at lunchtime, do a physical task for five minutes every hour, have a dance, do a fitness class before or after work. The human body is not designed to sit in front of a laptop for eight hours straight. You’ll also be more productive if you have moved.
5) Beginner’s mind and say yes
When we’re young, we explore different ways of doing things and then, at some stage, we find a way that we think is best. The brain physically tries to hardwire the neural pathway with this ‘best’ way. Fight this with all your might.
Get out of your comfort zone. Do things differently, do different things, learn from everyone. Keep your neural plasticity – your beginner’s mind.
6) Manageable chunks
To prevent the risk of overwhelm, just have on your to-do list what is realistic for you to achieve today and celebrate what you have achieved, not what you haven’t done.
7) Live consciously
I learned from the fabulous Vicki Marinker that we have just over 4,000 weeks alive on this earth so make them count.
I used to write a magazine for the retirees of a bank, and the most read page was the retirements and obituaries. I have been profoundly influenced by one woman who retired in the Christmas magazine and died in the spring edition.
If there is something you’ve always wanted to do – have a family, learn to play the guitar, visit the Galapagos Islands, do it now. Carpe Diem and all that.
8) Have a direction of travel
It’s not for everyone but I draw comfort from having a direction of travel but with gaps in the timeline that can be filled in along the way. If you have a partner, it’s worth chatting about these together.
These could include family and career plans, where and how you want to live, whether you are going to do the same work or would like to retrain, and any financial goals (paying off mortgage, size of pension etc.).
I hope these help. As for me, I have come out the other side and am in a fantastic place. I now celebrate the skills and experience that I have, I live simpler and easier, I spend more time on things that give me joy, and I am excited about the future.